growing up

growing up is a very difficult thing, for a long time i refused to grow up.  At 18 i wouldn't even class my self as an adult. Something change in September when i got involved with a girl, it change me and pop me out of the lovely childish bubble i was in.  don't get me wrong acting like a child is OK.
The think that made me start acting my age, was the realisation i was in a adult relationship having sex
and yet acting all Innocent and sweet. Evey thing soon changed after that Epiphany.

i have gone from not wanting to grow up and living with my parents  till am 30.Too wearing corsets and going out to berlesc and having night on the town. it funny how thing just happen it was like a click of a finger and i felt more mature and grown up. the best was realising adulthood isn't as boring as i thought, when i was a young teen. growing up for me was won of the hardest thing i had to go through is horrid releasing what the world is rally like having so Many responsibility's. but the the biggest thing i had to lurn was adulthood is definitely  not all work and no play. the are good aspects of  adult live to. thanks to my very good friend, i have learnt so much from her and because of her.


i do have a point to my blog, i want other people to now i have grown up a lot am not that naive Little girl they all owns new, am a woman how knows her own mind.

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this blog post is a bit off unusual post for me to write

i want to tack a moment to say sorry too a people. i am always talking about people hating on me.
well this is me saying im not perfect. i have hated on people too. i am so sorry to the people how i have hated on i can be relly crule i do and say thing with out thinking about the consequences of my actunes
am i sernserly apolagise to the girl at school who i was so mean so mean to and joind in with the rest of them how bullid you i stood by and did nothing I'm sorry
im sorry to my perent i say thing i showed off never said im sorry for flying off the handle all the time.
to my sister i am sorry i was alway to redy to juge and not willing to listen to what u had to say i ove you and im sorry
to my girl friend who i love im sorry for haw i act somtime with my insecuratees and how i aced that day in the street i was a idiot am sorry

am soory i apolagise to eny won else i have hurt or done wrong by them no i feel relly bad how i treat people some time. im saying all off this to show and admit y no what i in the wrong i am allways saying how people do me wrong but i never say what i do wrong or admit eny off the things i have done so i am starting i what every won i admit i  do thing wrong i say mean things and bitch and say things behine other people backs i am no better than eny won else.

by now most of you know i am not normal i have to be diffrent in everything. i have a long list of promblems, like dislexia dispraxia bipolor urlings list could go on. people asume just becouse i have this problems that afect me on a daly basice, that they deed to rap me in coton wool so to speeek.
they  dont treat me like evey won else, they basacly treat me like i dont have a mind of my own and i wont a cheve things. there have been people that  dident belive i could finish school get qualafications or  do enthing becouse of my difficaltys. just becouse i have a difacaltys dosent mean  people have to treat me like  im less than a human being.

i dont see why i or eny won else should have to be treated diffrently and singeld out. i feel becosee of my problems i just have to work ten time harder to get what i want than other people who dont have my problems. it tock me a long time to relise that i could litraly do enthing if i but my mide to it. i was apresed so much when i was a kid i started to belive people at school who said i could do enthing. you have to look at your problems as somthing that will help you get some were in life dont see it as a hedrenss.
what i  am trying to say is dont let eny won stop u living your dreams dont let people treat u diffrently to other u have the same rights as evey won elase and just becouse you have problems donts mean your not going to get eny were.
it all about ditrmination and hard work and you relly can acheve enthing dispit your promlems never ever stop beliving.
i came out of school with 5 qualifiations. and now im at colige doing art. dont get me wrong evey day is a constent struggle for me but i never give up and i just keep trying.

and to those  people out there who want me to give up and amdmit defeet
it never going to happen im going to keep fighting my problems and get to the top just you wait and see

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why is it that society is so intolerent to eny won who is diffrent or dont fit in to the catogrory of been normal. just cos your trans or gay dosent mean that you should be treted difrantly. just cose i like  the same sex as me dosent mean that i am eny difrant from eny won else i allays get ask haw do you no your lesbian u never been with a guy what that got to do with it eny ? what if i started to say how do u no your straight you never been with the same sex it radicules and stupid . i hate people that say aww you grow out of it it a phace. i think some people need to tack a hard look at them self and relice that love is love no matter who it with. when i came out i was all preberd for the out and out hate like calling me names and and been horried butb i wasent preberd for some won saying yer i acsept u for who u are but i still think it a phace you grow out off it. haw can u say u fine with be but then contradict what you just said i dont get it it make me so cross and up set. i olos dont get why us gays should have to have a own marrige law it like your treating us as diffrent and singaling us out why cant we just get married like every won else. i no people say there is a lot more tolerence now a days but is there and i dont think that exseptence as got that much better we still have a long way to go.

oh and a littel messige to all my haters i am pround of who i am i dont give a dam who nose
you hters will allway be hater and you all can go and fucking get lost becouse your not going to keep me down

evey won out there who is struggleing out there who in the lgbt comunaty we justy have to keep strong and stand up for what we belive in and not hide are inner unicorns and be out and proud
and to the peoople in rusher who are in a comunatey i relly feel for u and it sadens my haert keep strong

i am a lesbian and i am out and pround are u shows those hater and bigots that there not going to win

somthing amazing has happend to me resantly. i fell in love, i mean relly fell in i have never relly been in ture love. i had herd about it but never relly exsperianced it at first hand. it all happned so fast i like her as soon as i soure her face. i was over the moon when i found that she was gay like me. i know this might sound relly cheese but it relly was love a first sight and i swere we where ment for  ech other
i onastly feel like i have won the lottary. it changed every thing for me and  my pospective of life. every
 thing is better since she came in to my life. i am so happy that i am dating, i am in a relationship that feels natural and right unlike my other faild atemt of going out with some won.

i do have a point to my blog post to day i am not just going to ramble on about haw great my life is.
there are lot of down side to been gay and having a relationship  in this world we live in. i dont think it right  that we get funny looks. i dont get what people dont like about gays kissing and holing hand in puplic what wrong with it. every won allways think is so cute if a sstraght  cupple is  kissing. so why not gays?  It  tuff for gays like me who have never rellly had a propeer relationship  befor you dount  no anthing about been intermet with somewon . i allways found it fustrating haw no school teches u about thing like that. why do use gays have to be left out  when it come to teching about intamsy.

i belive  that there is no real normal every won is diffrent and unic. i personaly think if we where all the same, the world would be a very boring place to live. so why do people all ways refer to the word normal?. It is my oppinion that people have created a person that is there ider of what normal is.

wich would probably be a person who has no problems, a family that docent fight and get on and who was sight who had a job and a happy live. i am sorry but every won has somthing no won is pefect or normal not iven supper models. every won is unic. people are trying to fit in to a box ifen tho there is no human who can actuly be this normal or pefect.  i think people should inbrass who they are and accept them selfs for who they are.in sted of trying to fit in to this morma lpefect live that dosen't exsist. mabye at won point it did but is dosent now. so for every won out there you need  are beautifful just the way you are dont chage who u are just to appere to fit in  you are u and you no won else. Dont fit in to eny category as Judy garland says "allways bea first rate version of your self, insead of a second rate version of somebody else 

what is right for you may not be right be somewon else. it may mean having to stand on your own and do somthng strange in the eyes of others, but do not be daunted do whatever it is becouse you know within it is right for you 

hi my name is beth  i am 18 i am looking back and thinking about all the thing that have hapend and what i have  lurnt along the way, as i have been experiancing the beweldering exsperiance of growing up.  when i was a child i thoght like most of use that we would go to school lurn about lot  cool things  and one day i  would grow up  and and have a big house with what ever i whonted and that mony grew on trees. i relise that we all have to grow up and face the fact of real live people would say to me  go to school and lurn about thing that will help you later on in life.
 but i tell you the thing i have experiance and lurt are nothing eny won has  tort me in school by a techer in fact  the only thing that i have lurt from school is haw unplesent and mean people can be. i relised some time a gow after tring hard to finish a paper for school that in my head there is no ruhime or reson for use going to school it dose not tech us thing about live or morols or enithing else for that mater. one of the best things i lurnt as a high school junior was that  there is more to live than geting a A on a paper and geting through exsam.

a lot of people have said to me that i dont think the same as other do and that i must go along with what is exspected. but i am not shore is it that  i think difrently to other or is it  them not having the corige to speek out and be them self because theire  scerd of what people will think of there fews?
in my opinion  if all you cere about is grades and exams and mony, and making your self look good then your not reall going to get eny  where in live not really and feel that your got everthing out of it. leving is about not staing inbatwin the lines it about tacing riscs and chasing your dreams. it all abou thinkg haw you what to thing not what a school tell you to think

i found this qout i think i some it up
the qout is from steve jobs 
Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

i have aloso relised that time is so pesues and speshal that we should all enjoy it and leve in the moment and not to try and be moving on to the next thing to quick cos your never going to be in that moment again so safer it .
this are some isbaracnol quotes 
We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.” 
― Bill Watterson
“If there's one thing I learned, it's that nobody is here forever. You have to live for the moment, each and every day . . . the here, the now.” ― Simone Elkeles, Perfect Chemistry

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