It’s so frustrating if you don't know whether you’re doing the right thing. There’s that emotion that says that you feel one way and another is telling you feel different. Well I feel that a lot because I chose to stand by my Trans Mom when my uncle started to be prejudiced against her. It meant me giving up seeing my cousins and my Grandma. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. They all come periodically up to see my birth Mom and my sister. Of course they want to see me and that means that I have to choose whether I see them or not. I never know what to do, I miss my cousins so much and yet I am afraid that by seeing them my Uncle will think that everything is fine even though it isn’t. Why do people like him force me choose while he fails to talk about why he is excluding one of my family members, my Trans Mom. It makes me so angry and upset and to think that there are so many other people who are getting hurt by people like that. I just keep hoping that it well get better.
Something happened recently, my cousin came out as been gay, I am so pleased that she has had the courage to do so. I was scared that my Uncle would not except her but he did except her. That is brilliant for her but it got me to thinking WHY didn’t he except my Trans Mom ?
Hi to all the LGBT community out there, don’t listen to those who say you are different in a bad way or class you as ‘freaks’. You are all beautiful in different ways and don’t forget:
Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect
Beth,
ReplyDeleteAcceptance by males can be a very hard thing. Especially for males who may be unsure of their standing themselves or have VERY fixed positions or ideas of masculinity, femininity and equality. I am not saying that your Uncle is this way, but his not being able to accept your Mom is not uncommon.
Many men, particularly of the early Gen X/Baby Boomer generation or older, see being a Male-To-Female Transsexual as a failure of masculinity. Many of us (I am MTF and middle-aged) also saw it that way for a long time. The advent of the internet and slowly, more social acceptance has made "coming out" and gaining acceptance somewhat easier. But, we're not there yet.
People like your Mom didn't fail anyone, especially your Uncle. On the contrary, they succeeded more than anyone could imagine in trying to be what a "man" is expected to be in society. If you look around on the T-Blogs, etc., you will find British paratroopers, U.S. Army Rangers and Marines and many other macho-types who have transitioned into beautiful, happy women. "Being a Man" isn't what your genitalia tells you to be. It is what is in your mind and soul. Your Mom has the mind and soul of a woman. Being a young lady yourself, you probably know this already. You can point this out to anyone if they are willing to listen.
Your Uncle may come around one day. Your love for your Mom as a Daughter may be what convinces him. Don't give up hope! : )
Best,
Karin (I'm Just A Girl (I Think) Blog)